The Third Man (1949)

As of 27th of March I have seen 55 feature length films in 2019 and The Third Man is undoubtedly the worst. Despite it's iconic status, this film fails in almost every aspect of film-making and storytelling. It's 1 hour and 48 minute run-time felt 3 times that long; I found myself frequently checking the time or distracting myself with thoughts of far, far, far better films. To be honest, I could not tell you the plot past Harry Lime is dead and bad or maybe he's good, but also maybe not dead and there might have been 3 men. If that makes no sense to you, it's because the film made no sense to me.

On a visual level, The Third Man is incredibly frustrating as there are signs of talent there. The use of lighting and shadows is brilliant, making characters seem either imposing and powerful or small and helpless. Furthermore, war-torn Vienna looks stunning with wide establishing shots giving a real sense of chaos and devastation. Unfortunately, this is ruined by 1 out of every 3 shots being a hideous dutch angle. Dutch angles are shots typically used to create a sense of unease or unbalance of power. Not in The Third Man. A brilliant example of style over substance, Carol Reed's directing must be called into question because I have no idea what she was thinking. The film just becomes disorientating for the audience and is quite frankly ugly to look at.

Another issue, one which I tend to have with most old films, is the audio. Mumbling characters and poor sound-mixing make for a difficult time understanding what is being said and, therefore, what is going on. Moreover, The Third Man has both moments of German and English which I could not differentiate between if my life depended on it. The infamous and apparently iconic score is bemusing to me. It is ugly and does not fit the 'suspenseful' tone the film exudes, frequently detracting from the action on screen.

On a positive note, the 3rd act, which unforgivably lasts about 10 minutes, is moderately exciting and Orson Welles does his best to play a charismatic bad-guy in Harry Lime.

Ultimately, I found this film wholly unlikable and will certainly not ever be revisiting it. Failing to prove to me that Old Hollywood holds up to today's standard of film, The Third Man only cemented my belief that I do not like old films and has damaged the chances of me ever wanting to watch any again. It was truly that bad.