Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Although we’ve been battling through this pandemic for almost a year now, movie studios are still struggling to come up with an effective way of releasing their new blockbusters and making a profit during these uncertain times. Warner Brothers attempted to “save cinema” with the enjoyable but convoluted “Tenet” and Disney tried to sell their live-action “Mulan” remake on Disney + for a premium price (despite announcing upfront that it would be free on the service three months later), but aside from these instances, most studios have simply delayed all their upcoming releases. However, Warner Brothers are determined to remain ahead of the competition, as they announced that their entire slate of upcoming movies will release in cinemas and on streaming on the same day. The film that led this controversial charge was “Wonder Woman 1984”, the long-awaited sequel to the 2017 smash-hit.

I think it’s important for me to quickly outline my thoughts on the original “Wonder Woman” before I dive into its sequel. Overall, I have incredibly mixed feelings for “Wonder Woman” as, in my eyes, it’s a 10/10 film that’s hastily mashed together with a 4/10 one. There are some exceptional elements to it, the cast are excellent, the characters are likeable and the action is astonishing to a point (the No Man’s Land sequence is undoubtedly one of the best moments in any DC live-action movie). However, the film houses one of the most frustrating and laughably poor third acts in a comic book movie, and the basic plot feels like a mash-up between “Thor” and “Captain America: The First Avenger” (one of my biggest criticisms with the DC franchise is how derivative most of their movies are). So, going into “Wonder Woman 1984”, I was desperately crossing my fingers that the filmmakers would continue all of the elements that made the original film work, whilst putting more imagination into the finale than simply spewing CGI smoke, fire and lightning over a drab grey backdrop. So did DC learn their lessons and make one of their best movies ever?

NO! They made all the same mistakes again!

“Wonder Woman 1984” is a dreadful film. I know I should sugar-coat my critiques so as not to come off as cruel, but this movie was a crushing disappointment. The pacing is non-existent, the narrative is a complete shambles and the third act is, once again, an atomic dumpster fire. What on Earth happened?! How did the writers conceive such a tedious plot? How did the director construct such uninspired action sequences? And how, after analysing the strengths and weaknesses of their films, did DC fall into the same traps again!?

To give credit where credit’s due, the cast are easily the saving grace of “WW84.”

Gal Gadot is once again fantastic in the titular role, she embodies the same earnest charm and determination for good that made Christopher Reeve’s Superman so iconic. She manages to balance the strength of the god-like Wonder Woman with the more vulnerable and down-to-earth Diana Prince extremely well. Gadot is believable in the action sequences and engaging in the more character-focused scenes, despite having to deliver some truly trite dialogue. I really hope that, when we inevitably see a third instalment in this series, Gal Gadot is given a better script to work with because she deserves better than “WW84.”

Chris Pine is great as Steve Trevor here, even if the manner of the character’s resurrection is deeply problematic and detracts from his arc in the previous film. Pine has phenomenal chemistry with Gal Gadot, the relationship between the two of them is the heart and soul of the story as it attempts to ground the nonsensical narrative on an emotional level. The fish-out-of-water scenes in which Steve has a transcendent experience whilst riding an escalator or marvels at a “trash can” were by-far the most enjoyable moments in the film.

On the villain side of “WW84”, Pedro Pascal stars as slimy businessman Maxwell Lord and Kristen Wiig as jealous antagonist Cheetah. I’ll be honest, both of these characters where terrible, but thankfully, the actors playing them were able to elevate them slightly.

It’s certainly a far cry from his measured, subtle performance in “The Mandalorian”, but Pedro Pascal chewed up scenery like nobody’s business in “WW84” and I won’t lie, it was very fun to watch. Maxwell Lord is by no means a good character, his motivations, plan and abilities make absolutely no sense, but Pascal brings so much energy and enthusiasm to the part that I couldn’t help enjoying his performance. His delivery of the line “Life is good, but it can be better” has already taken its place in the hall of internet humour, which indicates that these days, movies either die a hero, or live long enough to see themselves become a meme.

Kristen Wiig was ok as the jaded-fan-that-goes-bad trope that we’ve all seen a dozen times before, she was suitably likeable during the first act but I don’t think she was the right choice for the rest of the movie. Wiig feels more at home as Wonder Woman’s geeky sidekick than as a physically imposing and intimidating antagonist, so her turn to the dark side didn’t feel natural as it didn’t line up with what we’d seen from her before. The conflict between the two former friends felt so shallow, I wasn’t invested in their feud on any level and once they began to fling each other about in the second act, I had definitively lost any interest in the story.

This brings us to one of the biggest flaws with “Wonder Woman 1984”, that being it’s story. As previously mentioned, the plot of “Wonder Woman” adhered very closely to other comic book origin stories, but that film still had compelling character arcs and a sense of momentum. Its sequel however, fails in all storytelling departments, the character’s goals are muddled, their arcs are devoid of logic and the McGuffin they’re after is a textbook example of lazy writing.

But without a doubt, the story’s biggest crime is it’s pacing, and by that I mean, it doesn’t have any. For the first hour of the film next to nothing of importance happens, the characters wander around and have sub-standard discussions before going into the next scene and having another dull chat. The goofy action is pleasant enough and the comedy is fluffy but the audience aren’t given anything substantial to root for, making it impossible to immerse yourself in the movie. What makes the film’s dire sense of pace even worse is that “Wonder Woman 1984” is TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG! That’s right, this hollow homage to the simplicity of Richard Donner’s “Superman: The Movie” and Sam Raimi’s “Spider-Man” is the same length as “Avengers: Infinity War.” I know this may sound harsh, but I think “Wonder Woman 1984” might just be the most mind-numbingly boring comic book movie I’ve ever seen!

The action set-pieces in “WW84” are immensely underwhelming. Whilst I enjoyed some of them (the prologue on Themyscira was a definite highlight) most felt lifeless and lacklustre when compared to other films of a similar ilk. Also, as the sequences feature obvious parallels to other movies (the truck chase features nods to “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and the Whitehouse fight is reminiscent of “X-Men 2”) you’re constantly reminded that there are far better action movies you could be spending your time on instead.

The third act can be the make-or-break point for a comic book movie, if you get it right, the audience leaves with a grin on their face and goose bumps up their arms, but if you fumble the finale, the viewer is likely to come away from the movie with a negative reaction. Unfortunately, the conclusion of “Wonder Woman 1984” is a fundamental failure in every way. Firstly, like almost every DCEU movie since “Man of Steel”, it takes place in a lifeless void far away from civilians to interact with (DC still seem to be reeling from the backlash they received when Superman helped knockdown Metropolis in 2013). Secondly, it’s spattered in uninspired CGI muck as the characters bounce around in the dark, swing off lightning and tumble through the air. Thirdly, it’s unoriginal, as Pedro Pascal’s character performs a “Bruce Almighty” esque routine where he grants everyone’s wishes, thus causing chaos around the globe. Fourthly and finally, Wonder Woman and Cheetah look unbelievably ridiculous. Gal Gadot may be a movie star, but even she can’t make that ostentatious golden chicken suit look good, whilst Kristen Wiig is transformed into a Jellicle cat that’s only slightly less nightmare-inducing than the ones in “Cats.” Thankfully, as I was watching “Wonder Woman 1984” in the comfort of my own home, I was free to heckle the screen as much as I liked during this appalling final fight.

By setting the movie in the 1980s, the filmmakers behind “Wonder Woman 1984” had plenty of captivating historical features to play with. What with the “greed is good” consumerist boom, the Cold War, the wacky fashion and the tensions in the Middle East, there were multiple films worth of stories to tell here. However, what the writers decided to do was to cram every one of these ideas into the movie, regardless of quality. On a thematic level, it feels as if the film is trying to say so much that it doesn’t say anything, as it’s overstuffed with plot points.

In conclusion, don’t waste your money on “Wonder Woman 1984.” The cast do their best and some of the action is serviceable, but overall, this is a shoddily written, monotonous and forgettable mess that fails to enhance its predecessor. Life may be good, but this film should have been so much better.